My Thoughts

Photo: Istock  Personally, I believe nobody is too quiet to talk. It only takes the right starter or question to get them talking. I’ve had friends who everyone swore were “muted” and hardly spoke, yet I’ve been lucky enough to know how to get them to open up. Some weeks ago, I was having a casual conversation with a friend when she said, “Oh, my husband he’s the quiet one and never talks.” I told her she simply hadn’t found the right button yet to make him talk. And that’s the thing quiet people aren’t empty. They’re just waiting for the right entry point. Here’s what I’ve discovered works: Photo: Google Ask questions that feel natural, not interrogative Quiet partners shut down fast when questions feel like interviews. Instead of “Why don’t you talk?”, try open-ended prompts that invite stories. Casual curiosity works better than pressure. Talk about their interests, not just yours Everyone lights up when the topic hits home. It could be work, music, ...

Photo: Google Once upon a time, relationships had names. Dating led somewhere, commitment followed intention, and even heartbreak arrived with clarity. Today, romance prefers to hover in the grey. Welcome to the situationship era where feelings are present, routines are intimate, expectations are unspoken, and definitions are carefully avoided. A situationship thrives on familiarity without responsibility. You talk every day. You share jokes, secrets, late nights, and sometimes bodies. You know each other’s moods, triggers, and comfort meals. Yet the question “What are we?” sits untouched, like a fragile ornament no one wants to knock over. It is connection without confirmation, intimacy without insurance. Photo: UBER IMAGES The appeal is obvious. Situationships feel lighter. There is no pressure to perform commitment, no timelines to negotiate, no future to explain. In a culture shaped by dating apps, endless options, and emotional burnout, keeping things und...

Photo: Istock There’s no hotel receipt. No suspicious scent. No dramatic confession delivered in fragments. And yet, something has shifted. Emotional cheating rarely arrives with spectacle. It unfolds quietly through long voice notes, private jokes, conversations that feel a little too personal to be harmless. By the time it’s acknowledged, the damage often feels settled rather than sudden. That’s what makes emotional infidelity difficult to pin down. The boundaries seem negotiable. Talking isn’t touching. Confiding isn’t kissing. Nothing overt has happened except the relationship now feels crowded. Photo: Shutterstock  At its core, emotional cheating is about intimacy and access. Someone else becomes the first person they tell about their day, their stress, their small victories. Emotional attention that once belonged inside the relationship begins to live elsewhere. The shift may be subtle, but its impact rarely is. Unlike physical cheating , which can...

Photo: DreamWorks  Move over, ghosting and breadcrumbing a new dating trend is quietly taking over social media: Shreking . Popularized by Gen Z on TikTok and lifestyle blogs in 2025, shreking is when someone intentionally dates a partner they’re not fully attracted to, often because that person offers comfort, attention, or emotional ease.  The term draws a playful connection to the Shrek films: unconventional love that challenges traditional beauty standards. But in modern dating slang, it’s less about fairy tales and more about strategy opting for consistency, loyalty, or what some call “soft life vibes” over chemistry or passion. For many, shreking offers a kind of relief.  Photo: Freepik There’s less know drama, fewer ego battles, and a relationship that feels easier to maintain. It’s a conscious choice to prioritise emotional safety, stability, and predictability sometimes at the expense of spark or romance. But the trend isn’t without i...

Photo: Istock It was Friday night, and Sule had planned a “surprise” romantic evening. Candles? Check. Wine? Check. Sexy playlist? Double check. But when the moment came… crickets. Not the fun kind just awkward scrolling on their phones. Sound familiar? If your once-steamy sex life has slipped into “meh” territory, you’re not alone. Desire can fade but the spark can always be reignited. Stress Is a Sneaky Libido Killer Between work emails, family obligations, and endless to-do lists, sexual desire often gets shoved to the back burner. Chronic stress floods your system with cortisol, draining energy and making intimacy feel exhausting. A short evening walk, a playful dance in the living room, or a few minutes of mindfulness can make all the difference in resetting your energy and your mood. Photo: Google Communication Gaps Kill Connection If bedroom conversations are limited to “good morning” and “good night,” it’s no wonder passion is fading. Desire thrive...

Photo: Google Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person seeks to make another doubt their perception, memory, or sanity. The term originates from the 1938 play Gas Light and its subsequent film adaptations, where a husband manipulates small elements of his home environment to make his wife question her reality. Today, gaslighting is widely recognized as a common tactic in emotional abuse, often leaving long-lasting mental and emotional scars. Photo: Google How Gaslighting Works Gaslighting typically unfolds gradually. The manipulator may deny facts, twist events, or trivialize feelings , making the victim question their recollections. Common tactics include: Denial of Facts: “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.” Minimizing Feelings: “ You’re overreacting,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Projection: Accusing the victim of behaviors or intentions the manipulator exhibits themselves. Isolating the Victim: Undermining th...