My Thoughts

Photo: Istock Relationships are full of highs, lows , and subtle shifts. Sometimes, the changes are so quiet you don’t notice until it’s too late. Recognizing the early warning signs of a partner losing interest can save emotional energy and maybe even the relationship itself. 1. Less Communication, Even About Small Things In the early stages, couples often talk constantly texts, calls, or casual check-ins. When interest fades, these little conversations become fewer or more superficial. If they stop asking about your day or sharing theirs, it’s not always laziness it can be a sign of emotional withdrawal. Photo: Shutterstock  2. Avoiding Time Together A partner who once prioritized spending time with you may start making excuses, cancelling plans, or showing less enthusiasm for shared activities. This isn’t about being busy; it’s about where their priorities lie. 3. Reduced Physical Affection Love languages matter, but sudden changes in touch, hugs, or int...

Photo: Istock  Several years ago, during my undergraduate days, I had a friend whose boyfriend was always all over her. He wanted to know where she was and what she was doing at all times when they were apart. At first, it felt romantic to her having someone constantly checking on her wellbeing and whereabouts, as she described it. But like most things, when it becomes excessive, it turns into a problem. His behavior slowly made her lose friends. She became isolated because he didn’t just ask questions he had people watching her. This affected her deeply. She grew extremely conscious and fearful of those around her. Photo: Getty Images  It got so bad that she failed both the first and second semesters of her second year. Luckily, the boyfriend, who was two years ahead, graduated and left. Even after that, she still felt watched, though not as intensely. The experience had already affected her mental health and academic performance. Of course, this may n...

Photo: Shutterstock  Jealousy. The green-eyed feeling everyone secretly battles. But is it a relationship killer, or can it actually strengthen love? The answer depends on how you handle it. When Jealousy Hurts Jealousy becomes destructive when it turns into control, constant suspicion, or emotional manipulation. Checking your partner’s phone, obsessing over who they text, or turning innocent situations into arguments isn’t romantic it’s toxic. Over time, this kills trust, brings resentment, and creates emotional distance. Photo: Shutterstock  When Jealousy Shows You Care Not all jealousy is bad. A small pang when your partner flirts or spends time with someone else can show you care and it can remind both partners of the value of the relationship. Healthy jealousy is brief, self-aware, and doesn’t lead to controlling behavior. It can prompt important conversations about boundaries, needs, and reassurance. How to Handle Jealousy Like a Pro Check Yours...

Photo: Adobe stock   Grand gestures are lovely. Surprise trips, expensive gifts, dramatic declarations. But long-term love is rarely built on spectacle. It survives on the small, almost forgettable habits couples practice every day. It’s saying “text me when you get home” and actually meaning it. It’s sharing the last slice without keeping score. It’s remembering how they take their coffee and getting it right without asking. Photo: Istock Healthy relationships are sustained by consistency, not intensity. A quick check-in during a busy day. A hand squeeze in a crowded room. Sitting through their favorite show even when it’s not your genre. These moments signal attention. Attention builds connection. Then there’s the quiet respect during disagreements. Not rolling your eyes. Not weaponizing past mistakes. Arguing about the issue instead of attacking the person. Couples who last understand that being right is less important than being kind. Laughter also carri...

Photo: Dreamtime  Open relationships where partners agree to see other people romantically or sexually have become more visible in modern dating. But are they truly sustainable, or are they a temporary experiment for some couples? The Benefits of Open Relationships When managed carefully, open relationships can foster honesty, personal growth, and sexual freedom. Partners often report a deeper understanding of their needs and desires, and some find that navigating multiple connections strengthens communication skills and emotional intelligence. The Challenges of Longevity Long-term sustainability is not guaranteed. Jealousy, insecurity, and mismatched expectations can strain even the most committed partnerships. Without clear boundaries and frequent check-ins, misunderstandings may escalate, and emotional intimacy with a primary partner can suffer. Communication and Boundaries Are Key Research and anecdotal evidence show that successful open relationships re...

Photo: Shutterstock   We’ve all seen the pairing. The quiet, calculating introvert with the social extrovert. The careful planner tangled up with the spontaneous risk-taker. The corporate strategist dating the artist. On paper, it seems appealing. In real life? It depends. The idea that opposites attract has been romanticized for decades in movies, books in the kind of love stories that thrive on tension. Think of the friction-filled chemistry between Noah and Allie in The Notebook, or the famously mismatched dynamic of Carrie and Mr. Big in Sex and the City. Conflict makes for great storytelling.  Photo: Istock  Research suggests that similarity especially in core values, long-term goals, and emotional temperament predicts relationship satisfaction more reliably than dramatic personality differences. Shared beliefs about money, family, faith, ambition, and lifestyle tend to hold couples together when the butterflies settle. That said, contrast ca...

Photo: Shutterstock  Relationship insecurity can damage even stable relationships. It often begins as persistent doubt questioning your worth, your partner’s loyalty, or the stability of the relationship. It can grow into jealousy, emotional withdrawal , or controlling behaviour. Signs of Relationship Insecurity The most common signs of insecurity in a relationship include a constant need for reassurance, fear of abandonment, overthinking harmless situations, and heightened jealousy. You may feel threatened by your partner’s friendships or read negative meaning into neutral actions. Insecure partners often experience trust issues, even without evidence of betrayal. Photo: Adobe stock  Emotional dependency is another red flag. When your happiness feels entirely tied to your partner’s validation, insecurity may be shaping the relationship rather than mutual respect. What Causes Insecurity in a Relationship? Relationship insecurity is rarely random...

Photo: Istock It usually starts small. A name that lights up your partner’s phone a little too often. An inside joke you’re not part of. A casual, “Oh, that’s just my best friend,” said quickly, almost automatically. Nothing dramatic. Nothing you can clearly protest. Still, something tugs at you. In theory, opposite-gender friendships are normal. Healthy, even. Most adults have friends across genders from work, university, childhood circles. It’s modern life. But relationships aren’t built on theory. They’re built on feelings. And feelings don’t always follow logic. Because sometimes, the problem isn’t the friend. It’s the closeness. Photo: Shutterstock  When “just friends” feels like more There’s a difference between friendship and emotional priority. If your partner shares memes and the occasional catch-up with someone, it barely registers. But when that person becomes the first call after a long day, the go-to for every rant, the keeper of private stories...

Most relationship conflicts don’t start with noise. They build quietly in delayed transfers, split bills that feel uneven, or the quite tension when one person always reaches for the card. Nothing explosive. Just a slow accumulation of unspoken questions: Who’s paying for what? Are we okay financially? Why does this feel unfair? Money disagreements rarely announce themselves as “money problems.” They surface as mood swings, passive comments, or awkward silences after checkout. Yet finances remain one of the most common sources of strain between couples, especially in cities where the cost of living climbs fast and expectations climb faster. Rent, family support, social plans, travel, savings goals love may be emotional, but partnership runs on logistics. Photo: Shutterstock  Handling money well together isn’t about spreadsheets or strict rules. It’s about clarity, honesty, and staying on the same page long before pressure sets in. At its core, it comes down ...

Photo: Dreamtime  Let’s answer this without pretending to be morally superior. Physical attraction matters. A lot. It’s the first thing most people notice, the first signal of interest, the silent language that says, I’m drawn to you. Before the deep talks, shared values, or long-term plans, there’s that immediate pull. The glance that lingers. The quick flutter. The curiosity. That spark is what starts the story. Without it, many relationships wouldn’t even get off the ground. Attraction creates excitement. It builds anticipation. It makes flirting fun and intimacy natural. You want to reach for your partner’s hand. You want to sit closer. You want them. That desire adds energy to a relationship and energy keeps things alive. Photo: Dreamtime  So yes, it’s important. But here’s the reality check. Attraction alone doesn’t sustain anything. Looks can catch your eye. They can’t carry conversations. They can’t offer emotional support after a bad day. They ...

Photo: Istock Love gets all the glory. It’s the butterflies, the late-night calls, the electric pull that makes someone feel unforgettable. It’s the part we write poems about and screenshot texts for. So it’s easy to assume love is the only thing that matters. Then real life clocks in. Because while love sets the spark, compatibility keeps the lights on. Photo: Dreamtime  You can adore someone and still argue about everything from money habits to weekend plans. One person wants quiet nights at home. The other lives for last-minute outings. One saves. One spends. One talks through problems. The other shuts down. Feelings stay strong, yet daily life feels like a constant tug-of-war. That’s where compatibility quietly does the heavy lifting. Photo: Getty Images  It’s less cinematic, more practical. Shared values. Similar goals. Matching communication styles. It’s agreeing on the big things family, lifestyle, ambition and respecting the small t...

Photo: Dreamtime  Ever noticed how two people can care deeply for each other and still feel misunderstood? One plans thoughtful surprises. The other simply wants more time together. Both are giving love, yet neither feels fully seen. That quiet mismatch often comes down to love languages. Coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, the idea is simple: people tend to express and receive affection in five primary ways words of affirmation, acts of service , quality time, physical touch, and gifts . The catch is that we usually give love the way we prefer to receive it, assuming our partner speaks the same dialect. Many don’t. Photo: Istock  Take words of affirmation . For some, a sincere “I’m proud of you” or “You mean so much to me” carries real weight. Silence can feel like distance. Meanwhile, someone who values acts of service may read love through action. Fixing a flat tire or handling errands says more than a dozen sweet texts. Quality time thrives on presence. No...

Photo: Istock Romantic displays often get the spotlight in relationships anniversary trips, heartfelt gifts, dramatic apologies. Yet the habit that sustains the relationship is less visible: accountability. Accountability is simple. It’s the ability to say, “I was wrong,” without deflecting, minimizing, or turning the tables this changes how partners relate to each other. When both people take responsibility for their actions, trust builds, conflicts resolve quicker, resentment decreases. Photo: Dreamtime  “I’m sorry you felt hurt” and “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” One dodges ownership; the other repairs the damage and this affects how quickly conflicts are resolved. Accountability shows up in everyday ways: admitting you forgot an important date, acknowledging a harsh tone after a long day, recognizing patterns you need to work on build trust. Photo: Dreamtime Your partner learns that issues won’t be swept aside or blamed on them...

Photo: Istock  Modern relationships often blur the line between closeness and constant availability. Texts answered instantly. Plans rearranged at the last minute. Personal time quietly sacrificed in the name of love. At first, it feels generous. Over time, it feels exhausting. Real intimacy should never cost you your sense of self. Boundaries are often misunderstood as distance or coldness, yet they are one of the healthiest foundations a relationship can have. They define how you want to be treated, how you protect your energy, and how much of yourself you’re willing to give without resentment. Far from pushing a partner away, they create clarity and respect. Photo: Getty images  Think of boundaries as everyday decisions rather than dramatic declarations. Protect your time the same way you protect your work deadlines. Keep space for friends, solo evenings, and personal goals. You don’t need to explain why you can’t make every plan or answer every cal...