My Thoughts

Photo: Getty images   There’s a quiet exhaustion that comes from always being the one who tries harder. The one who texts first. Who explains twice. Who forgives faster. Who lowers expectations just to keep the peace. At first, it feels generous. Mature, even. You tell yourself relationships require compromise. You pride yourself on being understanding. Then one day, you notice something uncomfortable: you’re carrying the entire weight of two people. And calling it love. Affection should never feel like negotiation. Respect isn’t a prize you earn through endurance. Care isn’t something you chase down corridors of mixed signals and inconsistent behavior. Photo: Getty images  Yet many people stay trapped in dynamics where basic decency feels like a reward. A returned call becomes impressive. A simple apology feels monumental. Consistency looks like luxury. That’s how standards quietly erode. The bare minimum starts masquerading as effort. Healthy rela...

Photo: Dreamtime Careers to build. Deadlines to meet. Messages to answer. Somewhere between early mornings and late nights, the people we care about most often receive whatever time is left. Calls go unanswered, plans get postponed, and date nights quietly turn into “maybe next week.” It rarely happens out of neglect. Life simply moves fast. Work demands attention. Ambitions grow louder. Energy runs low. The popular advice says, “If they want to, they’ll make time.” In reality, adulthood rarely works that neatly. Promotions don’t wait. Bills don’t pause. Responsibilities pile up. Sometimes love gets squeezed into the margins of a calendar already filled to the brim. So how do you protect your relationship when both of you are chasing goals, juggling pressure, and trying to stay afloat? Here’s how couples stay connected even during their busiest seasons.   Photo: Depositphotos Stop waiting for “free time” Free time is a myth. If you wait until everyt...

Photo: Istock  Personally, I believe nobody is too quiet to talk. It only takes the right starter or question to get them talking. I’ve had friends who everyone swore were “muted” and hardly spoke, yet I’ve been lucky enough to know how to get them to open up. Some weeks ago, I was having a casual conversation with a friend when she said, “Oh, my husband he’s the quiet one and never talks.” I told her she simply hadn’t found the right button yet to make him talk. And that’s the thing quiet people aren’t empty. They’re just waiting for the right entry point. Here’s what I’ve discovered works: Photo: Google Ask questions that feel natural, not interrogative Quiet partners shut down fast when questions feel like interviews. Instead of “Why don’t you talk?”, try open-ended prompts that invite stories. Casual curiosity works better than pressure. Talk about their interests, not just yours Everyone lights up when the topic hits home. It could be work, music, ...

Photo: Google Once upon a time, relationships had names. Dating led somewhere, commitment followed intention, and even heartbreak arrived with clarity. Today, romance prefers to hover in the grey. Welcome to the situationship era where feelings are present, routines are intimate, expectations are unspoken, and definitions are carefully avoided. A situationship thrives on familiarity without responsibility. You talk every day. You share jokes, secrets, late nights, and sometimes bodies. You know each other’s moods, triggers, and comfort meals. Yet the question “What are we?” sits untouched, like a fragile ornament no one wants to knock over. It is connection without confirmation, intimacy without insurance. Photo: UBER IMAGES The appeal is obvious. Situationships feel lighter. There is no pressure to perform commitment, no timelines to negotiate, no future to explain. In a culture shaped by dating apps, endless options, and emotional burnout, keeping things und...

Photo: Istock There’s no hotel receipt. No suspicious scent. No dramatic confession delivered in fragments. And yet, something has shifted. Emotional cheating rarely arrives with spectacle. It unfolds quietly through long voice notes, private jokes, conversations that feel a little too personal to be harmless. By the time it’s acknowledged, the damage often feels settled rather than sudden. That’s what makes emotional infidelity difficult to pin down. The boundaries seem negotiable. Talking isn’t touching. Confiding isn’t kissing. Nothing overt has happened except the relationship now feels crowded. Photo: Shutterstock  At its core, emotional cheating is about intimacy and access. Someone else becomes the first person they tell about their day, their stress, their small victories. Emotional attention that once belonged inside the relationship begins to live elsewhere. The shift may be subtle, but its impact rarely is. Unlike physical cheating , which can...

Photo: DreamWorks  Move over, ghosting and breadcrumbing a new dating trend is quietly taking over social media: Shreking . Popularized by Gen Z on TikTok and lifestyle blogs in 2025, shreking is when someone intentionally dates a partner they’re not fully attracted to, often because that person offers comfort, attention, or emotional ease.  The term draws a playful connection to the Shrek films: unconventional love that challenges traditional beauty standards. But in modern dating slang, it’s less about fairy tales and more about strategy opting for consistency, loyalty, or what some call “soft life vibes” over chemistry or passion. For many, shreking offers a kind of relief.  Photo: Freepik There’s less know drama, fewer ego battles, and a relationship that feels easier to maintain. It’s a conscious choice to prioritise emotional safety, stability, and predictability sometimes at the expense of spark or romance. But the trend isn’t without i...

Photo: Istock It was Friday night, and Sule had planned a “surprise” romantic evening. Candles? Check. Wine? Check. Sexy playlist? Double check. But when the moment came… crickets. Not the fun kind just awkward scrolling on their phones. Sound familiar? If your once-steamy sex life has slipped into “meh” territory, you’re not alone. Desire can fade but the spark can always be reignited. Stress Is a Sneaky Libido Killer Between work emails, family obligations, and endless to-do lists, sexual desire often gets shoved to the back burner. Chronic stress floods your system with cortisol, draining energy and making intimacy feel exhausting. A short evening walk, a playful dance in the living room, or a few minutes of mindfulness can make all the difference in resetting your energy and your mood. Photo: Google Communication Gaps Kill Connection If bedroom conversations are limited to “good morning” and “good night,” it’s no wonder passion is fading. Desire thrive...

Photo: Google Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person seeks to make another doubt their perception, memory, or sanity. The term originates from the 1938 play Gas Light and its subsequent film adaptations, where a husband manipulates small elements of his home environment to make his wife question her reality. Today, gaslighting is widely recognized as a common tactic in emotional abuse, often leaving long-lasting mental and emotional scars. Photo: Google How Gaslighting Works Gaslighting typically unfolds gradually. The manipulator may deny facts, twist events, or trivialize feelings , making the victim question their recollections. Common tactics include: Denial of Facts: “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.” Minimizing Feelings: “ You’re overreacting,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Projection: Accusing the victim of behaviors or intentions the manipulator exhibits themselves. Isolating the Victim: Undermining th...

Photo: Stock Not all draining relationships are loud or chaotic. Some lose energy through small, repeated habits that feel harmless at first, then slowly wear you down. Constant emotional translating Regularly decoding a partner’s moods, silences, or reactions creates a steady mental load . Over time, carrying this emotional interpretation becomes exhausting. Photo: Google Always being the flexible one Consistently adjusting your plans, opinions, or boundaries to avoid tension shifts the balance of effort. When compromise flows in one direction, fatigue follows. Performing happiness in public Maintaining a cheerful front socially while privately struggling creates emotional strain. Keeping appearances intact often requires more energy than honesty. Photo: Google Conversations without resolution Revisiting the same concerns without progress erodes patience. When discussions repeat without change, communication starts to feel heavy. Minimising your n...

Modern dating has a way of turning standards into silent checklists. Somewhere between knowing your worth and swiping left with conviction, the line between discernment and dismissal gets blurry. Most people don’t become picky for no reason. It’s usually earned. A draining relationship , a disappointing situationship, or one too many conversations that went nowhere can make caution feel sensible. So you start filtering faster. Exiting earlier. Spotting “patterns” before anything has a chance to develop. What looks like confidence is often self-protection. Photo credit: Google The problem begins when dating turns into constant evaluation . One awkward pause, a slightly off comment, a detail that doesn’t match the ideal picture, and interest disappears. The assumption is that the right person will arrive fully formed and immediately obvious. In reality, many connections grow slowly. Comfort builds. Attraction deepens once the pressure fades. There’s also a diffe...

Credit: Adobe stock  There’s something intoxicating about early promises. The weekend trips that haven’t happened yet. The wedding jokes dropped three weeks in. The “when we move in together” comments delivered with casual confidence. It feels flattering, movie-like, and strangely reassuring. Until it isn’t. Welcome to future faking a dating behaviour that looks like romance on the surface and confusion underneath. What future faking actually is Future faking happens when someone paints an appealing picture of a shared future they have no genuine intention of building. The language is rich: long-term plans, shared milestones, emotional security. The actions, however, remain thin. Dates stay inconsistent. Effort fluctuates. Accountability feels optional. The key detail many miss: future faking is about projection, not planning. These promises aren’t steps toward something real; they’re conversational currency designed to create attachment quickly. Cred...

Credit: Getty images   Not every meaningful connection arrives with fireworks , dramatic declarations, or a cinematic soundtrack. Some people enter your life quietly and still manage to change its rhythm. The signs aren’t loud. They settle in gently, then stay. You feel like yourself fully. There’s no pressure to impress, perform, or soften your edges. You’re not editing your personality mid-sentence or wondering how you’re coming across. You exist as you are, and that’s enough. Credit: Google  Silence feels natural. The absence of conversation doesn’t create discomfort. You can sit together without filling the space, scroll independently, or drift into thought without explanation. The connection holds, even when words pause. You’re not confused about where you stand. You’re not decoding mixed signals or replaying conversations for hidden meaning. There’s clarity in how they show up, how they communicate, and how they treat you. Nothing feels am...

photo: Getty images  Love has a way of pressing emotional buttons you didn’t even know existed. One careless comment can sting longer than it should. A delayed reply can spiral into a full internal monologue. Relationships don’t create emotions, but they do expose how we handle them. Keeping emotions in check doesn’t mean becoming detached or swallowing how you feel. It means responding with intention instead of letting reactions run the show. These four habits make that difference clear. photo: Getty images  Pause Before You Respond Especially When You’re Triggered Arguments rarely fall apart because of the issue at hand. They unravel because of timing. The moment emotions peak is the worst time to make a point, explain yourself, or demand clarity. That pause whether it’s a deep breath, a walk, or asking for a moment creates space between what you feel and what you say. It prevents words that can’t be taken back and reactions you later have to ...