Control


Control is what separates the higher orders from the lower, always remember that. In all you do make control your watchword.

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6 Signs you're the Selfish Partner

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Relationships should be a 50/50 split where both partners meet in the middle, taking and giving equally. But if you're exclusively concerned about yourself and have zero regards for your partner's needs it becomes negative and psychologically unhealthy. Being the selfish one means you receive without giving in return, and think your partner needs you more than you need them. The purpose of this post is to help you turn the tide around and focus on your partner's emotions and needs if you're the self absorbed one in your 'ship.'  With no delay let's dig into it. Below are six signs you're the selfish partner. You're Unaware of your   Partner's   Needs In order for balance to exist in any relationship, it is important you pay attention to your partner's needs, but in a situation where you consistently put your needs ahead of your partner's and expect them to constantly do things for you, there is bound to be a problem. The po...
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Don't Give Up On Yourself

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You might have this big dream inside you right now,  but most times when you try sharing it with people you see in their eyes that they have little or no believe in you or your dream don't let that  pull you down you do not need validation from your family, friends, partner and spouse to be that which you are cut out to be. Stop trying to explain yourself don't feel bad and stop dreaming because people you feel should push you or support you think less of you. Keep  dreaming, work hard and at the end you will  have the last laugh. Keep pushing for you and not for anyone you have greatness in you even if every other person is too blind to see, it doesn't mean you give up on yourself, because giving up means giving up on millions of lives you would have changed and touched in the nearest future. Yes they say you complain a lot, yes they say you are difficult to satisfy, well that is because you are different and you know what you want. Trust me there is nothin...
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Tips: Effective Ways to Improve Communication in Relationship

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.               Image credit: Shutterstock As humans our need for communication is very high. The level of communication between a man and a woman either make or break the relationship. I realized the reason why communication is still a major problem in relationship is because couples think they hear themselves speak, but actually don’t listen, that is why even with hundreds of thousands books and audios on communication it is still a major problem in relationships. Communication between couples should be easy; it is wrong to get tensed anytime you wish to bring something that bothers you to the notice of your partner. Your conversation should flow natural and be a way you connect with yourselves. But to achieve this you’d need to work on yourself especially if you have a partner who is difficult to communicate with. Tone is Important One key element of communication is tone; it is the foundation where the message is laid on. Your tone conv...
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How To Become A Better Partner in Your Relationship

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          Relationships are not always easy, but it should be a ground to become a better partner.  Life itself is a learning ground and so is relationship, no one is a champion at it, we learn from our past experiences and are still learning from the present. There is always room to learn more, and I hope these six ways of becoming a better partner helps someone learn some more. Self Evaluation Relationship requires work, and if you want to be a better partner, you have to observe and analyze your actions in order to improve where you're lagging. Ask yourself some important questions such as; Are you doing things that are as annoying as your partner? Are you hurting them more than you feel they're hurting you?  By asking these questions, you might realize you're doing the exact things you complain about, the only difference being that your partner is matured enough not to whine about it. Be Mindful of Your Words These days, we are all deal...
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3 Ways To Know Your Partner's Love Language

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I have always stated that no relationship is a pedestal of perfection, all have their struggle in all fronts.  The first step to an excellent relationship is discovering your partner's love language. According to Gary Chapman, the author of "The five love languages" he said, "when you reach out to your partner and discover their specific language you help them keep their emotional love tank full and maintain a meaningful connection." Sadly, the best of us are unable to speak our partner's love language even when in a long term relationship. When couples can speak each other’s language,  there will be less tension in the relationship, they will feel loved and appreciated. These three ways will help you discover your partner's love language. Learn to pay attention The first step to discovering your partner’s love language is by learning to pay attention. For example, when you use any of Chapman's love language it is important to pay att...
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How to Encourage a Quiet Partner to Open Up

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Photo: Istock  Personally, I believe nobody is too quiet to talk. It only takes the right starter or question to get them talking. I’ve had friends who everyone swore were “muted” and hardly spoke, yet I’ve been lucky enough to know how to get them to open up. Some weeks ago, I was having a casual conversation with a friend when she said, “Oh, my husband he’s the quiet one and never talks.” I told her she simply hadn’t found the right button yet to make him talk. And that’s the thing quiet people aren’t empty. They’re just waiting for the right entry point. Here’s what I’ve discovered works: Photo: Google Ask questions that feel natural, not interrogative Quiet partners shut down fast when questions feel like interviews. Instead of “Why don’t you talk?”, try open-ended prompts that invite stories. Casual curiosity works better than pressure. Talk about their interests, not just yours Everyone lights up when the topic hits home. It could be work, music, ...
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My Tricky Blind Date

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My loved ones and trusted acquaintances can tell that I'm one of the few persons not interested in blind dates and online dates. But I got set up with a friend of my friend who just got back to the country from Belgium. I thought she was going to talk me to death about how perfect he was for me, how smart, his love for good music, nature and literature. {did i mention she said he was well travelled?} I finally gave in because already I had no serious plan for this friend of hers, and only wanted to drown my loneliness after breaking up with my boyfriend and I was all about making new friends since we share the same circle of friends. And maybe this blind date could result into something huge her excitement showed she already thought of herself as the world's number one match maker. As date night approached she spurred into action from shopping for the perfect dress to taking me to the saloon she was taking the entire planning to another level, and felt I was meeting with ...
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After the Breakup: Breaking Free From Self-Blame

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Photo: Psychology Today Breakups rarely end when the relationship does. Long after the calls stop and the photos are deleted, something quieter lingers the replay. The mind rewinds conversations, red flags, small discomforts we brushed aside. We dissect months, sometimes years, with forensic precision. We ask sharper questions than we ever did while we were still in it. Why didn’t I see it earlier? Why did I stay? Why did I ignore the signs? Somehow, the story shifts. The other person’s actions fade into the background, and the blame settles squarely on us. We turn heartbreak into a personal failure. Photo: BetteHelp The habit of rewriting history Hindsight carries a dangerous clarity. Once the ending is known, every past moment seems obvious. The ignored text feels like proof. The uneasy gut feeling becomes a warning we “should” have trusted. The compromises look foolish. Yet relationships are lived forward, not backward. At the time, we were operating with ho...
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