My Thoughts

People often set timers for the different stages of their lives (that is a long to do list they hope to achieve before a particular age) I'm not implying it's wrong to set goals and have your life planned out but, it becomes wrong when you get stressed out, beaten and totally give up on yourself because whatever you have mapped out at a particular stage doesn't play out, it is wrong to keep comparing yourself to your friends that started at the same time with you but are way ahead of you. Trust me I know more than anyone else that life is a tiresome time spent in variety of waiting room but, it's not an excuse to force yourself into competing with others even when people around tell you that you're moving backwards. The truth is this unnecessary competition breed jealousy and, instead of being happy for the other person's success and achievements you end up convincing yourself that you deserve to have what others have more than they do. The whole poin...

A woman shared the saddest story I have heard in a while about her inability to conceive after four years of being married, in spite of the fact that she had been to different hospitals for various fertility test (seminal analysis, pelvic ultra scan assessment, hormonal assay for both of herself and husband) all test results indicates her man was okay, but she was not, and this was as a result of untreated infection. The major problem was after he discovered he was fine he started acting up, picking up fights with her, embarrassing her before family and friends, stopped going with her for her usual check ups, started receiving/making strange calls at odd hours, and on more than one ocassion had abused her physically these affected her emotionally, psychologically, socially and mentally. I asked if she was gainfully employed and if she could take care of herself her answer was 'yes' but she was scared of what people might say, she added that she was aware he was no longer...

We judge people we feel threatened by especially those who we perceive extremely better, we judge others by using big generalisation to put them down so we can feel better, but our judgement mostly have to do with us not the people we judge and same is true when others judge us. Most often we judge people before we even get to introduce ourselves, which is absolutely wrong you'd agree with me that most people we judge turn out to be the opposite of what we think of them to be when we really get to know them. We frequently make grave mistake of seeing people through other's eyes, if our friends have a negative thing to say about someone we stick to it without giving them a chance to prove what we've been told about them. The truth is your perception of others is a reflection of you. The bottom line is get to know someone before judging them.

As much as we think we know our friends, most times we miss the glaring telltale signs that our "dear friends" want more than being "just friends" with us we keep going round in circles searching for the perfect person for us while the right person has been standing by, always there to hold our hands through the horrible breakups we've been through, while others around us see the signs that our "good friend" has fallen deep for us we tend to be  blind, and consider them the last persons we wish to end up with, well here are some few signs to help you out. 1.   Listens to you As humans one of the things we desire when it comes to our association with others is someone who listens to what we have to say and take us serious. If your friend pays close attention every time to whatever you have to say without judging you for your actions, and sits through every boring story you share, and doesn't mind how many times you have told a story, r...

 I was out with some friends two days before January 2018, and we were all having a good time discussing our pains and gains for the year 2017 over a good meal, music, and the most lovely view, and over the course of the evening someone steered the conversation to one of my best friends Mr A and asked after his girlfriend, and why she was absent, because normally anytime we got together she would tag along, my friend started stuttering with pain in his eyes which was so unlike him with all blood drained from his face  he simply replied 'We're no longer together' There was an uncomfortable silence for about forty five seconds (like everyone of us was trying to make meaning of what he said in his or her way) which was immediately followed by a thousand and one question from the five other persons on the table I wanted asking what happened, but the look on his face made me realize he was not ready to talk about it. Unfortunately our other friends didn't understand ...

A friend who recently went through a bad breakup after being in a relationship for five years  said she realized the nights she spent awake crying over her man was more than the fun, happy time they had together, though she noticed they were not quite compatible along the line, but  thought she could fix things, make them better. She told me something that stuck, that if she had been able to tell herself the truth at the beginning she wouldn't have gone through the pain of a bad breakeup. My point is most times the signs that we are not compatible with our partners are there glaring at us, but we choose to ignore them telling ourselves that if we can put in extra work things will be just fine. These seven signs will help you find your way. 1) You can't be yourself The biggest mistake most people make in relationships is becoming someone else just to make the relationship work. If you're with someone who frequently criticise you for being you, criticise you for wh...

Emem stepped into the deserted street at about 10:45pm, and regretted staying that late at the fashion house, at about that second her phone began to ring uncontrollably, who could be calling at this odd hour when she was trying to get herself home unharmed she thought, she was too scared to pick the call paradventure someone crawls from behind, as she skilfully opened her handbag and peeped to see who the caller was, fortunately enough just the right person to bail her out, as she wrapped her scarf round her head and neck using her earpiece to recieve the call   'Emem where are you?'. The exact salutation she had expected    'Uhmm..just closing' she said waiting for an outburst     'What?!' He brayed.     'Is your car still at the mechanic? anyway where ever you are go back to where humans are and I will come get you.'     'Okay' she said too scared to protest. She had met Tayo at the Mangu orientation camp in Plateau State. He wa...