Men Also Bleed

 I was out with some friends two days before January 2018, and we were all having a good time discussing our pains and gains for the year 2017 over a good meal, music, and the most lovely view, and over the course of the evening someone steered the conversation to one of my best friends Mr A and asked after his girlfriend, and why she was absent, because normally anytime we got together she would tag along, my friend started stuttering with pain in his eyes which was so unlike him with all blood drained from his face  he simply replied
'We're no longer together'

There was an uncomfortable silence for about forty five seconds (like everyone of us was trying to make meaning of what he said in his or her way) which was immediately followed by a thousand and one question from the five other persons on the table I wanted asking what happened, but the look on his face made me realize he was not ready to talk about it. Unfortunately our other friends didn't understand that and kept pressing, well here is a summary of his story.

Miss B was insecure if he called less she suspected him, and if he called often she accused him of not trusting her enough, that was not all she was verbally, and physically abusive most times, and my poor friend portraying himself as a strong man, and with the mentality that a man's emotions should never be worn on his sleeve had to go through all that without telling his friends.  He said he felt helpless and was afraid of loosing her, and was afraid others might think less of him,  well at that point I sat on my seat with the hinges of my mouth left unfixed.

He showed us visible scares, and I clearly remember asking him a while ago about one of such scares and he gave an excuse of bumping his head into the wall I remember having my reservations, but didn't push for more details since his body language made it clear that he wasn't ready to talk about whatever happened. Anyway only after the last incidence did he settle down and find a voice of reasoning for the first time he had to call things off for the love of life, though he recieved threat messages and calls from her on daily basis as he showed us some of such messages.

He finished his story looking at me in particular and waiting for one of my epic lectures on relationships, but I had to refrain myself, because he was hurting, and any criticism would have made him hurt more, as a mental picture of the first time he introduced me to his reserved, slightly shy new girlfriend flashed through my mind I had my doubts then, and typical of me I told him, but he was soaked in his ideology of "shy, quiet women make the best spouse or partner".

Often times when issues of domestic abuse is raised for the most part we forget tthe men are affected just as women, but because they have been taught from childhood to hold back emotions they keep all bottled in. Thousands of men are blinded by this ideology, and would rather remain silent when they go through despicable things at the hand of their partners.

The punchline is if you're in any form of abusive relationship as a man it doesn't make you any tougher or stronger when you bottle up your emotions and refuse to talk about or walk away from it, neither is there a gold medal attached to stauying with an abusive partner talk to your friends and family about it a word of advice from them might be the right wake up call you need, there is no point in acting all macho on the outside while crying on the inside your life matters.