My Thoughts

          Image credit: istockphoto You and your partner seem to have so much in common before you started dating. Now pressure of life has dealt you both, making you feel more like cell mates than soul mates.  Several times you’ve stayed up wake trying to piece together where the difference is really coming from. Not to worry I’ve listed some identifiable things causing strain in your relationship below. Reality sets in The daily routine of work and financial setback and dealing with life in general can chip a way at a good relationship, bringing about unexpected problems that can strain a relationship. Irreconcilable differences At the early stage of relationship people tend to overlook differences.  Once the relationship becomes serious couples begin to discover how unalike they are in several ways such as the area of communication, problem solving and finance management. Differences that once were ignored become unacceptable. Emotional distant Over time tension build up

       Image credit: www.istockphoto.com Relationships come in different sizes and shapes and all with its peculiar problems. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the good times and be overwhelmed with the problem.  It will be another cliche shot to say some differences between couples cannot be resolved. That almost perfect relationship you desire is attainable, all it takes is if you recognize your problem and find a way pass it. Focus on your partner’s good qualities This can be a difficult task especially if things have been rough in the relationship. An easy way to achieve this is; write down things you like about them.  Keep the list, memorize it or save in your mobile phone and regularly refer to the list as a reminder of why you are with them.  Focusing on the positive qualities of your partner helps you put up with your differences. Spend time together Remember how you both loved to spend time doing things you love together when you started dating.  Another way of fixing

.               Image credit: Shutterstock As humans our need for communication is very high. The level of communication between a man and a woman either make or break the relationship. I realized the reason why communication is still a major problem in relationship is because couples think they hear themselves speak, but actually don’t listen, that is why even with hundreds of thousands books and audios on communication it is still a major problem in relationships. Communication between couples should be easy; it is wrong to get tensed anytime you wish to bring something that bothers you to the notice of your partner. Your conversation should flow natural and be a way you connect with yourselves. But to achieve this you’d need to work on yourself especially if you have a partner who is difficult to communicate with. Tone is Important One key element of communication is tone; it is the foundation where the message is laid on. Your tone conveys meaning more than you can imag

One device that is a most have in our time is the mobile phone. Gone are the days when people flaunt the flip phones or phones with analog antennas. In recent times, people’s preferences have shifted to the Samsung and Iphones due to the  class associated with them.   Two of the trendiest of these devices right now is the Galaxy S21Pro and Apple Iphone 12 Pro Max. Both Tech-savvy individuals and those with zero knowledge of how technology works, are drawn to their extraordinary features as well as wowed by their amazing specs such as; the Iphone’s Stainless steel frame, 120H2 pro motion displays and Higher-end photography options and the Samsung’s first internally Snap dragon 888 processor, compass, Dual pixel PDAF. These fearures enable them to keep in touch with friends and followers on social media. But a downside is behind the sophistication of these devices are a gazillion problems it poses unknowingly to relationships. Diminish Physical Interaction Whether in a meetin

The first step to self discovery is taking responsibility for your actions. The best of us are stuck in a particular position because we have refused to take responsibility for whatsoever we are going through, we tend to blame our partners, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and children for our wrong choices. And refuse to own our setbacks as stemming from us. We blame our unhappiness in relationship on our partner, our stagnant career on our boss, financial instability on the country’s economy, children for taking away our social life, and nag about not given a bigger stage to showcase our talents, throwing blames around, but leaving the person who deserve to be questioned and blamed ‘ourselves.' The truth is, growth cannot come from shifting blames to others. The fact of the matter is, we are given a living space on earth for a reason; to make a difference, standout, to impact lives and change the world by leaving a mark so that when we take our last breath our s

Criticism is an essential tool for growth in relationships, but becomes a malfunction if taken to the extreme.  I know there is the need for us to be critical with our words, just for the aim of pushing our partner to become a better person or like the next person we secretly admire. According to Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist Caitlyn Cantor "It is what you do with criticism that determines whether it will build closeness or not." Accept your partner’s individuality This is a significant component of growth, that helps in the smooth sail of a 'ship.' But if your method of achieving growth is by demeaning your partner and comparing them to every Dick, Harry and Jane, you gain nothing. Remember as humans our strength and motivation differ. Accept your partner’s weakness and strength; do not force them into becoming who they are not, just to fit into your little picture of a perfect person. This has caused a lot of problems in relationships. Correct with l

                                        A lot of us are guilty when it comes to showing affection to our partners, and that is why most issues in relationship stem from the lack of or frizzled affection between partners.  These days, people hold back from letting their feelings show as a result of several named and unnamed issues at the borders of life, and by so doing neglect those that really matter.  If you’re guilty of not showing enough, you can change course with the following ways. Do not Hold Back Compliment We are all aware of the power of compliment on us as humans; it can change the meanest person, it can even fix a person's sour day.  The truth is, it doesn’t matter how aware you think your partner is of their looks, success, and strength. Complimenting them can change their total outlook on themselves and the relationship. A recent study shows 70% of people who cheat on their partners do so, when they feel noticed and complimented by others. Accept your par