How To Forgive An Erring Partner




A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine called me.
 "E I'd really love to see you," She said and hung up, there was an urgency in her voice that really worried me.
 We fixed a lunch date at Fresh Dew (Jabi lake Mall). I felt I was going to need a crystal ball for our conversation because she wasn't a talker and I was more of the listener.

Luckily, whatever was bothering her made her loosen up. It was obvious she was struggling to hold back the water wells.
"Ade is cheating on me," She blurted out.
 I looked on without blinking. To cut the long story short, she had her suspicion about her cheating husband for a while, but didnt let it soak, somehow she found out and he came clean.

What hurt most, was the fact that he was cheating on her with his ex. She was devastated and didnt know what to do, but love him regardless. She was ready to cut her losses and leave, but took into consideration my counsel and things are gradually picking up.

 I know a lot of people are caught in this web, and find it hard to forgive, but dragging whatever hurt you feel affects you most. Below are somethings I had dished out to my friend hope it helps someone find their road to forgiving.


Forgiveness is you doing yourself  favour

Forgiveness is you doing you a favour, by not dragging unnecessary baggage of hurt. Forgiveness is easy, but forgetting most often can be tasking.

As long as your partner is bold/honest enough to come clean, trust me such a person deserves a second chance. I know how painful it is to be aware of the fact that your partner is or has cheated, but we live in a world where people deem themselves infallible, never accepting their faults or blaming someone else for their shortcomings.

 If you're lucky enough to have a partner who accepts his/her wrong, such a person doesn't deserve the noose.


Talk about the problem

A significant step to forgiveness is talking about the issue, sometimes it helps to know why your partner acted the way they did, what drove them into their action hearing from them helps you forgive faster.

 You might even be surprised to learn that in a not so good way you contributed a cent unknowningly to their action or again that such action was borne from previous hurt that they've not been able to let go.

When you talk; do not bottle things up, let your partner know how much their action has hurt you, express your feelings and not oppress it.


Let it go

Once you've been able to understand the reason for their action, it becomes imperative you let go. 

I know how tempting reminding your partner about their mean acts at every opportunity can be, but desist from such act, it will only drive your partner far away from you. 

If you've forgiven do not make reference to his/her offence again-- remember it should be left in the past, focus on the future by making things better.






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