My Thoughts

A friend who recently went through a bad breakup after being in a relationship for five years  said she realized the nights she spent awake crying over her man was more than the fun, happy time they had together, though she noticed they were not quite compatible along the line, but  thought she could fix things, make them better. She told me something that stuck, that if she had been able to tell herself the truth at the beginning she wouldn't have gone through the pain of a bad breakeup. My point is most times the signs that we are not compatible with our partners are there glaring at us, but we choose to ignore them telling ourselves that if we can put in extra work things will be just fine. These seven signs will help you find your way. 1) You can't be yourself The biggest mistake most people make in relationships is becoming someone else just to make the relationship work. If you're with someone who frequently criticise you for being you, criticise you for wh...

Emem stepped into the deserted street at about 10:45pm, and regretted staying that late at the fashion house, at about that second her phone began to ring uncontrollably, who could be calling at this odd hour when she was trying to get herself home unharmed she thought, she was too scared to pick the call paradventure someone crawls from behind, as she skilfully opened her handbag and peeped to see who the caller was, fortunately enough just the right person to bail her out, as she wrapped her scarf round her head and neck using her earpiece to recieve the call   'Emem where are you?'. The exact salutation she had expected    'Uhmm..just closing' she said waiting for an outburst     'What?!' He brayed.     'Is your car still at the mechanic? anyway where ever you are go back to where humans are and I will come get you.'     'Okay' she said too scared to protest. She had met Tayo at the Mangu orientation camp in Plateau State. He wa...

There was this guy who asked me out during my undergraduate days in the University he would have been any girl's dream man, but not mine. From my first to final year, and even after graduation he kept asking and got the same reply a huge 'NO' but brother was not having it, and saw me as a cold stone ice queen. He became persistent as the years rolled by and got same old reply.  A few years ago he was forward about what he wanted; something serious that would last a life time, and how he would like us to start a family and grow old together, well I told him it was not going to work out that I have never felt what he felt, and did not see myself sharing that emotion in the nearest future he started begging and was on the verge of crying, but I made him understand that even If I were to accept his proposal he would never be a happy man, and love was a strong emotion to beg for or compel, and if not careful someone might take advantage of his emotion and hurt him. I ma...

Memories shared together is what binds most couples, and this has contributed in creating internal desires. It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship, trying to get that special man's attention or winning your ex back after things 'went left' with you two. These six ways below will make him miss you like crazy. 1) Be Supportive It's a known fact that guys are supposed to be the strength in relationship, the makers, doers and all. It's important to show him how strong you are, how good a listener you are on issues related to his life and career show him, remind him that you know he'll figure things out. Support his dreams, his hustles, and he'll miss you like crazy. 2) Be mysterious Everyone of us enjoys a good mystery and your guy is of no difference. If your goal is to make him miss your presence, then you don't have to share your life history at once allow him to discover  new things about you every day. Trust me guys unconscious...

A friend who's been married for less than a year called me in the wee hours of the morning, and I instinctively knew something was wrong, at the sound of my voice she broke down, and told me all has not been well, that she was tired of pretending and she has been leaving in regret after tying the knot with her husband, and how she wished she had ignored all the pressure from her family to get married, because they felt she was getting old and her younger ones were all married at the time. And just last week I got more than three e-mails asking if it's right to rush into marriage because of one's age in my opinion it's not about what age it's about who you marry, its about finding the right person, although in our Society today age is a major factor in marriage, but most of us forget that marriage is a life long commitment, you ought to be ready for it before commiting. Your age, experience, exposure, number of years spent together cannot determine the suc...

Most often we confuse "self like" for "self love" we think being aware of how good we look, how many followers we have on our different social media handles, how often we hangout in  expensive places with A list individuals is self love, but no darling that is self like. Self love is beyond staying in a toxic relationship, it's beyond being treated as an option, it's beyond making up excuses for your partner's behavior and fabricating lies to make people think you're happy. Its about having a standard and sticking to it. Self love is beyond looking nice in that tailored outfit, it's beyond nailing that selfie, it's beyond crying on the inside and pretending to people who would help you out that all is, it is beyond staying with that serial cheat you call a partner. Self love is about treating yourself with respect, self love is about loving yourself hard, self love is knowing when to walk away from that toxic relationship, self love...

Have you been dating this man for awhile now and you're itching to take it to the next level, well you know you have been ready to get married for as long as you can remember, and finally feel like you met the one person that understands you, can deal with your excesses, support you and can make all your dreams come true there's only one question is he ready? Sometimes actions speak louder than words maybe your man hasn't straighten up to asking you yet, but here are some few signs that he is thinking about it. Proud of the woman you are If he asks for your help, and seeks your assistance in organising things this is because he trust you, if he confides in you and ask for your advice on decision he makes it because he values your opinion and take you seriously, if he tells and shows  you he is your #1 fan, no matter the struggle with your career, shows you off to friends and like to talk about what you do, and your achievements to whoever cares to listen it shows...