How To Forgive An Erring Partner2



A few weeks back, I made a post on the aforementioned topic, and recieved more than a dozen emails and direct messages asking me to "broaden the topic."

So, here we are. This is my little effort at making the said topic "broader." I will be direct as usually. ('Cause I can't help myself) 

Most times I'd rather leave the topices short and simple so the message I'm trying to convey is not lost. For everyone who asked for more, this is for you. 
Fingers crossed every missing tidbit in the last post is found here.



You're in Charge of your emotions

Truth is, anger can make you say or do things you'd probably regret. Always remember that you're in control when it comes to your emotions and not the other way. If you can remember this forgiveness comes easily.


Focus on what you love about your 
partner

If you're struggling to forgive your partner for something big they did, it might be time to reflect on the things you love about them. Compare and contrast, ask yourself if whatever they did is worth ending your relationship for. 


Focus on the moment

When dealing with an erring partner a good percentage of us make the mistake of remembering all other similar things they did wrong in the past. The easiest way to forgive is to focus on what happened at the moment.


No perfect relationship

Every relationship has its struggle. An important pathway to forgiveness is for both partners to genuinely look at how they must have fanned the embers of the problem. I made similar statement in the previous post.

Blaming your partner for everything that goes south in your relationship will affect them negatively and this is not a solution.


Move past the offense

Forgiveness is easy when you forgive and let go of hurt. If your partner is sincere enough in admiting they're wrong, and genuinely apologizes, then its important you choose to forgive and try as much as you can to forget just for the sake of what you feel for them.






Comments

Post a Comment

My thoughts

How To Become A Better Partner in Your Relationship

Image
          Relationships are not always easy, but it should be a ground to become a better partner.  Life itself is a learning ground and so is relationship, no one is a champion at it, we learn from our past experiences and are still learning from the present. There is always room to learn more, and I hope these six ways of becoming a better partner helps someone learn some more. Self Evaluation Relationship requires work, and if you want to be a better partner, you have to observe and analyze your actions in order to improve where you're lagging. Ask yourself some important questions such as; Are you doing things that are as annoying as your partner? Are you hurting them more than you feel they're hurting you?  By asking these questions, you might realize you're doing the exact things you complain about, the only difference being that your partner is matured enough not to whine about it. Be Mindful of Your Words These days, we are all deal...
Read more

6 Ways to Revive Your Fizzling Relationship

Image
                                                   As we are aware relationship/marriage is not a bed of roses. Every relationship has its ups and downs and the honeymoon stage of a relationship does not always stay forever. The question is have you over the months/years come to the sudden realization that the sweet touchy romance you once shared at the beginning has fizzled, and this has made you blame your partner/spouse for the distance in the relationship. It’s important to go back to where it all started you will be surprised,  that you might be as guilty as your spouse for the friction. These few ways listed below will serve as a road-map  in reviving your already fizzled or fizzling relationship. Communicate More. I have always stressed communication as a vital key for any relationship. Talk about whatsoever you feel might ...
Read more

Sixteen Round

Image
I read 'Sixteenth Round' by Robin 'Hurricane' Carter (true story) in the book 'hate, injustice caused Mr. Hurricane 20 years of his life (spent behind bars as a prisoner because he was framed up for murders he did not commit) but, he was saved by the friendship of a young boy.  It made me realize that in life there are no coincidence, everything was designed to work according to the laws of nature. Following the story, and how he was mistreated, it would have been expected of him to be bitter, filled with hate and revenge, and looked down on the young boy by underestimating his friendship, (after several appeals to his case was negated) but he didn't  and that friendship bought him his freedom.  My point in the opening story is that whatever situation you are in, whatever you are going through don’t give up, do not underestimate the strength of anyone, do not throw away the little help that could be your key to freedom. Nothing happens by chanc...
Read more

Tips: Effective Ways to Improve Communication in Relationship

Image
.               Image credit: Shutterstock As humans our need for communication is very high. The level of communication between a man and a woman either make or break the relationship. I realized the reason why communication is still a major problem in relationship is because couples think they hear themselves speak, but actually don’t listen, that is why even with hundreds of thousands books and audios on communication it is still a major problem in relationships. Communication between couples should be easy; it is wrong to get tensed anytime you wish to bring something that bothers you to the notice of your partner. Your conversation should flow natural and be a way you connect with yourselves. But to achieve this you’d need to work on yourself especially if you have a partner who is difficult to communicate with. Tone is Important One key element of communication is tone; it is the foundation where the message is laid on. Your tone conv...
Read more

6 Signs you're the Selfish Partner

Image
Relationships should be a 50/50 split where both partners meet in the middle, taking and giving equally. But if you're exclusively concerned about yourself and have zero regards for your partner's needs it becomes negative and psychologically unhealthy. Being the selfish one means you receive without giving in return, and think your partner needs you more than you need them. The purpose of this post is to help you turn the tide around and focus on your partner's emotions and needs if you're the self absorbed one in your 'ship.'  With no delay let's dig into it. Below are six signs you're the selfish partner. You're Unaware of your   Partner's   Needs In order for balance to exist in any relationship, it is important you pay attention to your partner's needs, but in a situation where you consistently put your needs ahead of your partner's and expect them to constantly do things for you, there is bound to be a problem. The po...
Read more

How the Smartphone is Gradually Ruining your Relationship

Image
One device that is a most have in our time is the mobile phone. Gone are the days when people flaunt the flip phones or phones with analog antennas. In recent times, people’s preferences have shifted to the Samsung and Iphones due to the  class associated with them.   Two of the trendiest of these devices right now is the Galaxy S21Pro and Apple Iphone 12 Pro Max. Both Tech-savvy individuals and those with zero knowledge of how technology works, are drawn to their extraordinary features as well as wowed by their amazing specs such as; the Iphone’s Stainless steel frame, 120H2 pro motion displays and Higher-end photography options and the Samsung’s first internally Snap dragon 888 processor, compass, Dual pixel PDAF. These fearures enable them to keep in touch with friends and followers on social media. But a downside is behind the sophistication of these devices are a gazillion problems it poses unknowingly to relationships. Diminish Physical Interaction Whether in...
Read more

Be Happy In Your Own Skin

Image
 One of my friends went through this particular phase in her life where she was insecured about her butt she felt like she had the flattest butt in history if you ask me I'd say she had a perfect body, in my size 6 days I prayed to God to give me her  kind of  body, and the funny thing was anytime I told her she was my model when it comes to body size she thought I was only making fun of her. She tried every possible thing in order to enhance her butt, and finally went for an enlargement which right now she pretends to like, but I can see she regrets this even if she won't say it. My point is no matter your flaws, whatever makes you feel less beautiful I'm here to tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are you don't need to change a thing about yourself to look like the next person, have you thought of how special you are in that body, that thing you see as a flaw in yourself someone else wish to have it. There is nothing more attractive than a co...
Read more

Tech Safety for Domestic Violence Survivors

Image
Image from pixabay.com Domestic violence is a serious problem across the world. It occurs in various cultures and affects people across society, at all levels of economic status. It does not discriminate – domestic violence can happen to anyone. Any attempt by one party to dominate and control the other in an intimidate relationship or marriage is domestic violence. At its core, domestic violence is all about gaining and maintaining control over the other person. The Power of Technology Technology can be a powerful tool when it comes to exerting tyrannical control over others. Today’s technology makes it easier for abusive partners to harass and intimidate their victims, online and offline. A new form of domestic abuse that sees perpetrators use internet-connected devices to hurt and harass their spouses or partners inside their homes is emerging. This disturbing trend lets abusive partners continue the emotional and psychological abuse even after the victim h...
Read more